Liane * Mae

Death by Escalator!

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:44:05 GMT

Holy.

lol. I was at Barnes & Noble yesterday and -- being a complete geek for paranormal and horror novels -- had an armful of books (okay, it was more like two or three). Anyway, I had finished checking the fiction section, and was just getting on the escalator to head back to the first floor.

Right.

I got on. Started my descent. Glanced through the back covers to read more about the books I'd nabbed.

And, as I had picked up my sister's OCD-ish tendencies, I usually prefer not to hold onto the guardrail. Rail? Armrest? Anyway, perhaps there's a reason for that safety precaution.

The power went out.

The escalator came to a sudden halt.

Due to momentum, my body did not. I pitched forward. From the top of the escalator.

Can we say, faaaak?

People say their lives flash before their eyes.

Hah. That's a load of bull. The only things flashing before my eyes were lots of metal stairs and the titles "Needful Things" and "Blood Noir" tumbling down the escalator.

Anyway, I was lucky because a middle-aged man was a few steps in front of me, and I suppose I shrieked or something because he held onto both sides and barricaded the front for me.

I collided with his back before grabbing onto the rails.

Assuming he wasn't there and I'd cracked my neck on the tiles of B&N and became a paraplegic, think I could sue B&N? Haha. I kid. >_> Yay for not being physically injured. My pride, however, is a different story.

Ban me! Ban me!

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:51:25 GMT

Wow. Just... wow.

So, according to this article, a Singaporean woman's getting whipped for drinking beer in public, in Malaysia. Six lashes of the "rotan" including a fine.

I wonder if men fall under the same "Section 136".

The law is cool. Whatev. I can respect another country's law, even if I don't agree with it. And, if I'm visiting the country, I believe you should follow that country's laws.

However. LOL. At one of the replies:

"I agree with this law.

It is time we ban women behaving promiscuously in night spots.

What you want girls??? want to be screwed right? just say it lah.

Dont have to buy so expensive sexy dress and buy so expensive drink and spend so much time into the wee hours.... just to be screwed right???"

This was posted by Sinkapoorean. It's his opinion -- and hey, I can respect that.

So, just because a woman wants to feel confident and sexy, and wears a sexy dress, and buys an expensive drink ('cos, you know, it has nothing at all to do with perhaps the fact that she may like the drink), she's a promiscuous thang who wants to get banged.

It has nothing to do with maybe just meeting some guys and catching their interest. Or feeling good about being attractive.

Right.

Mmm, baby, oh baby. Hand me that "so expensive sexy" black dress and "so expensive" vodka, now. :D

I like how putting on a sexy dress and drinking an expensive drink is promiscuous.

And, you know, hey, if a guy's wearing an expensive suit and tossing back that expensive drink, he's probably considered well-off and privileged. Promiscuous? A man? Never!

Second, he wants to ban women behaving promiscuously in night spots. Well, where do you draw the line at promiscuous? Putting on a sexy dress and buying an expensive drink? Well, define sexy and expensive? What becomes too sexy, too expensive? I'm sorry, did you want your women garbed from head to toe? -_-

It sounds like Sinkapoorean needs to get laid, and begrudges well-dressed women with cock~~(not his)~~tails in hand.

So, fine. Maybe I don't see things from this kid's perspective because I wasn't raised in whatever society (gee, think he could be from Singapore?), but I guess this is my feminist side coming out (look! Feminist!Mae's out of the closet now :D).

If you can't play with the big girls, don't hate.

*headdesks*

Exhibitionism.

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:27:44 GMT

Okay. So, guess where guys like to masturbate? :D :D :D GUESS!

In Target changing stalls.

I'm so serious.

I was at Target a few days ago trying on some workout tops (moisture-wicking for the win!), and while I'm changing, I sneezed a couple times.

To my immediate left (aka stall next door), I hear a masculine, "Bless you. God bless you."

So, I say over my shoulder, "Thanks."

A couple minutes of me oohing and aahing at the nifty tops, I hear grunts and shuffling and some very shallow breathing. For a good minute or more. (A minute is hecka fecking long when you're standing still and trying to discern what the hell kind of noise you're hearing.)

My response: ...No. That can't be right. I must be hearing this wrong.

I plaster my ear against the stall, my eyes gradually de-chinky-fying themselves into: O.O

Because, yes. Yes, I am hearing some fast-paced shallow breaths. And, sweetheart, I do not think it requires that much physical effort to change clothes. Unless you're morbidly obese and attempting to change through ten outfits in like 2 minutes.

If you want to masturbate, be my guest. It's healthy. But, holy crap, I did not need the auditory evidence of some random guy's masturbation time.

Totally squicked out. I finished changing, grabbed my shit, and was out of there. I took my time browsing because... I so didn't want to put a face to the heavy breathing. Ew.

I went back once I picked out some other stuff (like 20 minutes later; that's enough time, right? Right? Surely, a guy only needs a few minutes to do his business, then head out?). To my intense relief, the guy was gone. No one on the right side of the stalls.

My following dilemma was: But wait. What stall did I have previously?

Since I'm not a fan of smelling or seeing jizz on zee floor of public fitting rooms, or on the walls, I slid into a stall on the left side.

And that ended my adventure with the Target exhibitionist.

Careful, kiddies. That shallow breathing can haunt you at night when you least expect it.

Booored

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:04:04 GMT

I'm at work. Between tasks until my supervisors are done with their meeting.

I am also fantasizing about buying some munchies/junkfood. XD

Anyway. I've been running a lot, and feeling proud about it. :D emerald_knot has me training with her and her mom for the ING half-marathon coming up next year, January 31st.

This is the first time I've ran seriously, and trained. Actually, this is the first time I've ran with any kind of schedule. I typically hate running (I much, much, much prefer to swim or jog on an elliptical).

This past Saturday, Erin, her mother, and I cleared six miles. :D Within an hour and ten minutes. That's probably slow, but we've only been training for a little over two weeks. I was astounded -- astounded! -- to see the results, though. Two weeks ago, Saturday, we attempted four miles. Erin's mom and I floundered. XD Our running group hit the two mile mark while we trailed behind them, saw them turn around, and didn't even bother trying to get to the marker. We simply turned around, and watched as the rest of our group caught up to us, then passed us.

But! This past Saturday, we completed the entire six miles without lagging. :) Erin also force-fed us three "Senzu" jelly beans (Okay, okay, so they're Sports Beans XD) to re-energize us halfway through. I think that really helped 'cos I was super bouncy and never "hit the wall" during the run. Which is something pretty amazing, considering the fact that two weeks ago, I couldn't even complete the four miles without walking a good portion of it.

At the moment, we're running on a 5:1 system (five minutes jogging, one minute walking, repeat).

I hate running. But I love seeing the changes. :D

Hopefully, too, I'll lose some weight. I don't see much fat disappearing off my belly or from the scale, but I'll take what I can get. Which, at this point, is just looser jeans. u_u

XD Anyway, I'm thinking I ought to cross-train between running days (which is Mon/Weds/maybe Thursdays/Saturdays). So maybe Tuesday/Fridays I lift weights or something? Erin brought up swimming, but I don't know where I could go to get access to a good-sized pool. And I don't really want to swim alone at MDC. And my pool isn't long enough. A couple strokes after streamline, and I'm on the other side already, lol.

But swimming would be really nice. XD Maybe I could get back into swimming shape and do a tri one day. >__>

Of Flies and Schnauzes

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:39:59 GMT

Or however you spell it.

>_>;

[Begin C&P of Email]

the worst thing evarrr happened. well, not really worst. XD but. *dramatizes*

i was walking into the PC building to go to work and as I opened the door, I swung around to keep it open for this old dude on a bike.

A FLY FLEW INTO MY NOSE AS I INHALED

and im pretty sure it's lodged somewhere in my snot.

omg it hurttttttttttttt! it BURNED! i was like: WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew of all the weird shit to happen. D:

;-;

i know you're laughing at my pain. i just know it. :<

*spanks*

anyway just thought i'd share my WTF moment of the day. <3

[/End Copy&Paste of Email]

XD

Anyway, I've been dieting and exercising. Erin's dragging me off to participate in the ING half-marathon at the end of Jan, next year.

>_>; Yeah. Ran 4 miles this past Saturday. Longest distance, for me, evarrr. Took a damn hour, too. XD

Week one of diet is over, and I lost about four pounds, according to my scale. Want to ditch about another 16 pounds. >__> May be too much, but I think I'll just keep dieting until my stomach is flat(ter).

It is such a bitch to deal with the fact that the weight doesn't just melt off in a snap. The diet isn't hard, and neither is the exercising. It's the fact that it takes time. u_u

<3

Orders & Payments

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 17:04:42 GMT

ORDERED
gegenschein - 11 Imps; $28

The Apothecary

Bewitched

Caterpillar

Dorian

Khajuraho (LE)

Matahari

Mi-Go Brain Canister (LE)

Phobos

R'lyeh

Serpent's Kiss

Snake Oil

edenssixthday - 8 LEs (Halloween Decant Circle); $30

The Carpathian Mountains

Punkie Night

Samhain 2006

The Pumpkin Patch Revisited 2006

opaleyes - 3 Imps; $9

La Petit Mort

Thalia

Wicked

voleuse - 1 Bottle & 1 Imp; $19.50

Hungry Ghost Moon (5ml) (LE)

Anne Bonny

bethie_nova - 25 Imp Rollerball Bottles; $14.50

gegenschein - 4 Imps; $15

Et Lux Fuit (LE)

Queen of Sheba

Smut (LE)

White Rabbit

kariquirks - 5 Imps; $12

Belle Epoque

Oya

Hellcat

Eclipse

Lady Macbeth

miss_lie_lock - 1 Bottle; $19.50

Theodosius, The Ledgerman (5ml) (LE)

The LAB - 1 Bottle; $20

Dorian (5ml)

edenssixthday - 3 Imps; $14

Black Ice

Haloa

Midnight Mass 2006

addictionkitten - 1 Bottle; $22

13

The LAB - 2 Bottles; $30

Dorian (5ml)

Snake Oil (5ml)

An idea sparks.

satans.seraph@gmail.com — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 01:05:12 GMT

Buahaha. I just thought of how I could update my art and have it all in one place [and not just on one site, IE LJ]. I could just stick it all behind an LJ cut on here, and then update this one, and link future updates to this one whenever I want to show el pictoros. Right? Right? Good idea, ne?

Anyway. Here's all the uploaded stuff I have. If I'm able to get my hands onto a scanner, then I'll re-scan some of the crappier resolutioned ones. :)

*humps modern technology* All images are uploaded using ImageShack or PhotoBucket.

Newer updates are at the top, and I'll log them by month and day.

Updated: April 12, '06: This one was for my niece's one year birthday. XD I did a sketch and scanned that in, then colored it with Photoshop, so there are two versions. :D

Picture 9:

Picture 9*a:

Updated: October 31, '05: This one's for "teh wifey". XD I heart you, luv. Expect this in your mailbox by the end of the week. And as usual, please critique. :)

Picture 8:
For the Halloween picture I sent to Usa'fey, go to THIS ONE. Apparently the thumbnail died. Woe.

Updated: October 17, '05: Okay, so it's really the 16th, but it's freaking 11.30 (almost), and I figure it's pretty much the 17th. xD; I'm so wordy.

Picture 7:

I gave this to Tina before she left for college. :) It was one of my water color painting attempts. She scanned it in for me, and I heart her muchos. xD

Updated: October 16, '05: These were all uploaded previously, at one point or another. :)

Picture 1:

I actually ended up sending this to Dani. So it's currently tacked onto her wall.

Picture 2:

A mermaid. :) Done with a pencil. Lots of eraser went into this.

Picture 3:

Excuse the sharp-ness. I had to enhance it a bit cause it was too blurry. =\

Picture 4:

Beware my wrath, she cries? xD The shading was killer for my hand, as was the hair.

Picture 5:

Chalk and pencil. Excuse the runny lines / horrible resolution.

Picture 6:

Oh.Em.Gee. The wings killed my hand. I think I did it in intervals. Again, sorry for el bluriness.

As always, please feel free to critique. :) Your comments help me draw better, and that's a good thing. xD And good C&C is always welcome.